Greetings loyal readers and fellow maremmas. Today mummy and daddy went to sister’s school for parent/teacher interviews. Of course, sister is such a good student and all the teachers said she was doing well at school. This got mummy thinking about Me and what if I was to have a report card. Imagine how that would read. Maybe, something like this:
Report on Jasper, from the Spinster Aunty J School of Obedience for Wayward and Errant Dogs.
Obedience: Where does one start? Jasper is a kind dog but lacks any comprehension about the basic commands of dog obedience. He has demonstrated that he will sit eventually if prompted, reminded a number of times, if there is nothing better to do and he has thought about it for a few minutes. Other obedience commands such as “down”, “come”, and “stay” are at the moment beyond his understanding. Grade D-
Barking: This is a subject where Jasper excels. He constantly demonstrates his keen ability to bark at everything and anything. He is known to bark at neighbours using their own driveway, using their tractors in a paddock a mile away and just going about their own business. Jasper has shown a predisposition for moon howling. A difficult and often overlooked aspect of doggy barking 101. Grade A+
Food stealing. Again a subject that Jasper has shown great aptitude for. How can one forget his great performance in the “eating of four steaks left on the kitchen bench”, or the magnificence of his “eating of steak, brother left on his plate”. The quickness and deftness of his actions shows great promise. This is a subject that Jasper has a great future in. Grade A.